4 Basic characteristics a Christian Woman should always look for in a Christian Man
Written by: Savaslas Lofton, featured in March 2007 issue, www.wowmagazine.org
www.savaslas.blogspot.com
How many of us know or have witnessed single, beautiful and faithful Christian sisters, helplessly fall into the trap of a risky relationship that has caused unnecessary pain and suffering? Perhaps you may know of someone who may be in this same type of relationship today. Many single Christian women desiring a meaningful relationship who have been hurt by past experiences have either lowered their standards to mediocrity, or have given up all together. With this said, age and experience alone, are not great qualifiers for determining if one is really ready to settle down. One common truth remains, that deep in the same heart of these devoted sisters, the desire to love and to be loved yet remains.
Therefore, God has placed in my heart at least four basic characteristics I believe every Christian woman should always be able to observe in a Christian man. These four basic characteristics are as follows:
#1 Prophet
Please understand that before I get into this specific characteristic, I am not implying that his calling has to be that of a prophet, however, I wanted to explain how much the characteristic of a prophet should parallel that of a potential husband. One particular duty of the prophet in Biblical antiquity was to declare the Word of God as it was delivered to him concerning the past, present and future, or all three aspects at the same time. One of the Hebrew words for prophet is chozeh which is interpreted one who has vision. Therefore, there are at least three questions concerning this topic that you should consider:
(1) Has he communicated to you God's vision for his life and what steps he plans to take to bring the vision to pass?
(2) Does he speak God's Word about matters more than his opinion?
(3) Does he seek to protect, by either words or action, the purpose and destiny God has placed inside of you?
These three questions, although the list could go on and on, are extremely important. By saying I do, you are in essence granting unto him access and permission to speak into your life physically and spiritually. What he speaks in the midst of adversity is just as important as the words that he declares in the midst of opportunity. Always remember, that out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks according to Matthew 12:34. If he speaks life and only life; which is God's Word in the midst of circumstance, then you know that he rules his own spirit and is capable of loving you as he loves himself, because he bridles what he speaks.
#2 Priest
Is he an intercessor? How often does he sincerely commune with God; and if so, is he obedient to the voice of God? Would you say that he considers prayer a high priority in his life?
These are important because if he can not intercede and seek God's face during both peace and adversity, how will the family know which direction to take? One of the duties of the priests in the Old Testament was to be responsible for entering into the Holy of Holies on behalf of the people to bring back an answer from God. Seeking God involved both direction of the people and instructions of how they were to remain under the wings of God's protection. The man is responsible for covering the family by praying and seeking God's face for direction and instruction. One of his responsibilities in marriage is to be the "husband" or "house-band" to surround the family with arms of spiritual and physical security, and support. He seldom moves without putting into practice Proverbs 3:5-6, where the Bible explains to trust in God with all of his heart and lean not unto his own understanding, but in all of his ways acknowledge God so that his path; which includes the path of his family, would be securely directed by God.
#3 Poet
Most women enjoy a man who is very intimate with words. One who compliments her on her hair, sends a note with a rose to her job, who seeks daily to find encouraging words to say, and knows to listen when she needs a listening ear. He is the type that understands how much she enjoys being pursued. He showers her with love and communication that quenches her curiosity of wondering if she is ever on his mind. He may not posses the ability and speech of a Solomon in the Songs of Solomon or a William Shakespeare; however, he is forever finding new ways to effectively communicate to her the deep desires of his heart concerning the advancement of their relationship.
#4 Protégée
Are you able to trace his spiritual lineage? Meaning, does he communicate to you who it is that spiritually motivates him to become a better man? Does he have a mentor or someone that he looks up to for wisdom in his life (especially when it comes to career and finances-this is also very important)? Is his life submitted to the Pastor whose church he attends? Does he love and embrace the ministry? Serving under the Pastor and ministry (if done correctly) keeps a man humble, sensitive to the spirit of God and his Pastor. In addition, this will make him accountable for his actions both positive and negative. With a proper balance of serving the ministry, it should be a plus for providing positive family influence, as well as wisdom concerning direction in important matters.
Prophet, Priest, Poet and Protégée; all of these characteristics can not effectively be in action without an intimate relationship with Jesus Christ. Therefore, a Christian woman should not look for "validation" but "confirmation". A man can not "validate her" only "confirm" who she has already been created to be.
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